Thursday, January 1, 2015

It's a new year! 2015!

So as far as New Year's Resolutions go I don't really make them. I've come to realize that it doesn't matter much, that this is our life, and yes, we have choices, but at the same time there is this great predetermined plan that our soul already knows.  That no matter what our situation is, no matter how great, or how awful it is at the present moment, we are exactly where we are meant to be.  Plus, I like to rebel, and since everyone is making one I have to take the lonely man's road and opt out.  Follower I am not.


This has been a year of growth, painful losses,  joyous triumphs, all mixed together in one giant life lesson.  A year in which I've grown so much.  A year in which  my family has become a unit again.  And best of all a year where the love of my life really and truly "sees" us again.



I  won't ever again allow myself to be less than me.  I will never have a reason to be quiet when I know I should speak.  My heart and my mind will be open to all possibilities, and a complete understanding that each and everyone of us have their own path to follow.  


I am a perfectionist by nature.  I have always strived to be the very best at whatever it was I wanted or had to do.  What is the point, after all, of doing anything, if you don't do it right?  I was able to let go of a little of that this year.  To be comfortable "going with the flow" a little more than in the past.  Every time I feel myself start to get anxious or uncomfortable I say "You are where you're meant to be. This to shall pass."  I am finally able to relax.  To breathe.  To be at peace with who I am and where I plan on going. And boy do I have plans!  This is a take-charge year!  Great and beautiful things are coming our way, I can taste it!  ;)


I've learned a lot about people.  Sometimes more than I wanted to know, but true colors always have a way of peaking out and masks can't stay on forever.  It's heart-breaking and sad, but you always get exactly what you put into your life.  Choices made always affect more than just you.  Life's ripples.



The best part of this entire year was seeing my husband get the twinkle in his eyes back, the twinkle I fell in love with so long ago.  He may be mad (embarrassed) at me for saying this, but when you look at him, before he even opens his mouth, you can see it.  He is happy.  He is appreciated. He is beautiful.  Those eyes twinkle again because he sees us, because he has become the man I always knew was there, and most of all because he knows that he's exactly where he wants to be.  He is receiving the respect and admiration he always deserved, as the hard-working and loyal man he always wanted and tried to be. I am so proud of him and so in love with him and that is the very best, most important thing.

So here's to a new year, a continuation and new start all in one!  Bring it 2015, I'm ready!