Quicksand

When reality hit me, it came careening out of nowhere and stabbed me right in the chest. It left me stunned. It left me unsure. It switched my blind-eye on immediately. The things I saw - scary, surreal, lovely. The sounds; amazing, but intense. It took me a couple months to balance. The senses constantly tingling. I felt so fidgety. It was hard to concentrate as I adjusted. Once I did a doorway was opened that I would never allow to close again. It was as if I had awakened in a dream. 

I began to realize that it was my dream. That I controlled it, sort of. Things still happened that were out of my control, however my reaction mattered more than anything else did. It was a choice for me to be happy or sad. It was choice to move forward or stay stagnant. 

The hard part of coming to this reality, this conclusion, is that while you may be ready and willing to move yourself forward to a better self, a better place, those around you may not be ready or willing. This stagnation I so dreaded, seemed to be the place that some belonged, and my foot is caught in their quicksand.

There are some I want to grab hold of and shake, screaming into their faces "OPEN YOUR EYES". I do not. I can not. The reality is here, but I cannot make you see it. I try to slowly pull my foot from their indifference. Yet it's hard to let go. So I sit here choking, as the knowledge that is in me fights with the broken heart I've tried so hard to keep bandaged and protected. 

I will keep whispering of truths. I will keep becoming stronger. I will dedicate myself to rising above and being the best me I can be. I cannot promise you much longer, as I am almost free, but I do pray you find it in yourself to one day be all you were meant to be.