I had to put my dog down. 💔 This was not an easy decision. It's been over a year in the making & painful. He's been aggressive & anxious since my twins came home last December.
This is my gorgeous Axel boy. I rescued him & his sister, Dazy, when they were just itty bitty little 6-8wk old puppies about 5 years ago. I had 3 boys at the time, the youngest was 10, & I was having baby fever but "knew" I'd never have another baby, so we decided to get A puppy. Two boys were insistent on Dazy being their dog, & I had said that since there were 3 boys, it was majority rule - but then I had to have my Axel too.
Just like that I had my first set of twins.
This dog has been my guy.
He's gotten me through so much. He's rested his head on my shoulder & let me cry into his fur. He's licked those tears away & slept besides me at night so I wouldn't be alone. We would walk/jog/run 3 miles almost every day. He would watch me leave for work through the window every morning, & run to greet me when I arrived home. Always stealing a shoe, as if that meant the shoe owner wouldn't be leaving again anytime soon. No matter what room I was in the 2 dogs would follow me. Axel would even when the boys & Sean were around. Axel was always there.
Then things changed. I got pregnant, totally planned, totally wanted , & such a process!
I was so tired & sick & weak & itchy through the pregnancy I couldn't walk anymore, much less run. I felt bad, terrible actually, & I tried my hardest to play in the yard with the dogs whenever I could. It was hard though, & I know they suffered. But Axel didn't care - he still loved me, & would cozy up to snuggle any chance he could. I did my best. At least I hope I did.
Axel is big & strong & oh, so protective. Have I mentioned his eyes - beautiful brown, so soulful & trusting.
I imagined my Axel, loving on the babies in my tummy, & protecting them the same way he did me. I saw them playing in the yard together & snuggling up to nap. All those adorable baby & dog photos I could personally take! Even cuter with twins! I couldn't wait!
We moved into our bigger house right before the twins were born. Both dogs would sometimes come while we worked on the new house, even so, maybe we should've waited. Maybe two big changes were to much. It doesn't matter anymore though - this is where we are today.
Two babies - they take up A LOT of time. I didn't/don't have any for myself, so unfortunately none to walk or play with my dogs very often. I hate this, as much as I hate excuses. I literally have nothing else to give, so I have to let this guilt go. I tried. I really did. Walking 2 excited dogs while pushing a double stroller is not easy. I couldn't do it. I can't do it. Not that this single act alone could change anything, but I wish. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I feel like I failed him. The safety of my babies must come first & that is what I have to focus on.
This is THE last resort, completely sucks, & I would do anything except jeopardize human safety to keep this from happening. Axel has bitten 2 children, badly, & jumped at a couple others. He has been put an anti-anxiety meds, which only turned him into a sleepy zombie. I have talked to vets & trainers & rescues. They said that even after behavior therapy/training, unless Axel is put in a situation with a child, basically testing his reactions, there is no way to know if he is "cured". Since we have no idea what the trigger could be, there is no way to be 100% sure we can prevent it from happening again. With the twins moving around, & countless children & teens always around the situation is unsafe. I have tried finding him a new home. I've posted ads, spoken with friends, & been in touch with dog rescuers too. I have to be honest about the situation, it would not be right not to be. Bottom-line: once a dog has bitten no one wants to help, or they may want to, but it's to risky, so they don't.
This is THE last resort, completely sucks, & I would do anything except jeopardize human safety to keep this from happening. Axel has bitten 2 children, badly, & jumped at a couple others. He has been put an anti-anxiety meds, which only turned him into a sleepy zombie. I have talked to vets & trainers & rescues. They said that even after behavior therapy/training, unless Axel is put in a situation with a child, basically testing his reactions, there is no way to know if he is "cured". Since we have no idea what the trigger could be, there is no way to be 100% sure we can prevent it from happening again. With the twins moving around, & countless children & teens always around the situation is unsafe. I have tried finding him a new home. I've posted ads, spoken with friends, & been in touch with dog rescuers too. I have to be honest about the situation, it would not be right not to be. Bottom-line: once a dog has bitten no one wants to help, or they may want to, but it's to risky, so they don't.
Axel, my guy - there will never be another. ❤💔
