I gave you my all and by giving you my all I gave up so much of myself. I didn't do it intentionally, it was just that I loved you enough to put you first. Even when it was hard, even when it wasn't something I wanted to do - all for you. I won't say it was easy or that I never bitched about it, but it's true I let you do pretty much whatever you wanted to do.
I allowed it because despite it all I still had the twinkle in your eye. You wanted me. You made me feel special and loved. You spent time with me and held me. I knew I was your #1. No, you weren't perfect (neither was I), you could've done better (can't everyone) but at the core there was us, so no matter what I had that to fall back on. Then you took that away.
When you took that away you crushed me. It left me wondering what was holding us together. Instead of being there, giving me your time and attention and making me feel special again - so that core of us could return - you turned your back and just want me to pretend nothing happened and go back to the way things were.
How can I go back to that? I can't do it - I can't be the giver and never receive anything.
If you blindside someone and completely destroy all they thought was true - when you truly love them you do what it takes to prove it's true again. But you disagree, you think that I am the only one that feels this is right. Why?
I don't want to change you. I love you. What I want is for you to make better decisions and be considerate of me and my feelings. I want you to care. It wasn't all that long ago you did.
I can let things go, but you kind of have to too. It's a give and a take, not just a take.
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