Asleep or Awake Reality or Dream

I'm sitting here questioning if I should publish this post.  Am I going to offend any of my dear friends?  Are people going to think I've gone off my rocker?  The truth is everyone is not ready to hear all this.  The truth is; if this offends you, makes you mad, or changes the way you look at me; then maybe it's time for you to look deeper in yourself.  The truth is you're allowed to feel however you want about this post and about me.  I can't change it.  All I can do is be me.  To be honest, I welcome all discussions/opinions/thoughts.  I wrote what's in me and you are welcome to feel however you do about it.
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Asleep or Awake
Reality or Dream

When I was a child I remember being  told that God was all-knowing, and even though we had free will to do as we chose, God always knew the choice we'd make.  To me the image of myself standing in the middle of a doll house immediately came to my mind.  I saw God, as I would be when playing with my dolls. This vision stuck with me through the years and so did the sense of it being ludicrous. I remember thinking - "What's the point of being God if all you do all day is figure out what you want your dolls to do?"  I also remember thinking "What is free-will? Because if God already know exactly what I'm going to end up doing, it doesn't sound like I'll have many real choices..."

That was from the mind of eleven year old me.
Yes. I have always needed to know more, and I never take someone's word for anything, never have.

Another time someone told me that to get to heaven all I had to do was believe in the "One True Christian God".  I think I kind of shocked them when I replied "Almost all religions say they have the One True God, and how do you know they are wrong if they are as adamant in their rightness as you are?"  I had recently studied up on the major world religions and couldn't believe the similarities; despite the different terms. (Here I was maybe 15.)

I don't believe any of the above really matters in the proportion that humans put on it.  I truly believe that our, yes everyone's, soul really already knows this.  I have seen what happens when someone begins to look inward.  I have listened intently as I've prayed/blessed/surrounded myself/family/friends with the Holy Spirit.
I will say here that I do believe in God - I believe in prayers - I believe in kindness and truth.
I'll also say that I believe that religions have it wrong.
Religion equals division, where God wants us joined.
Separation NEVER works.

When my grandmother passed away over 3 years ago, someone said to me that I should get my kids to church.  That Granny would be so happy to see them there.  Without even thinking, and not even knowing it was coming, I stated "No, now that she's spirit, not physical, she knows it doesn't matter as much." I have to say that I was a little shocked to hear this, even as I spoke it.  It opened my eyes a little more to listening and feeling what was around me.

The statement I made caused me rethink my beliefs.  It made me delve into more.  
I had to find answers.  I looked within.
As I questioned and researched and listened - I really began to realize all the indoctrination that happens to everyone, without our even knowing it.  From the day we're born things are expected of us.  We are raised to think a certain way, to believe a certain way, to expect certain things from those around us.  Let me be clear here - no one is doing anything wrong, just doing what we as humans have 'known' to do.

This indoctrination is a form of 'brainwashing' that we don't even realize is happening.  It's very real though.  Just think of all the adults sitting in church simply because they've been going since they were children.  Just think of all the people living to "keep up with the Jones" no matter how unhappy they are in reality.

My children and I have had many discussions about "God".  I have always asked them how they thought or felt about everything.  I wanted them to know from the very beginning that they do know the answers.  God already gave them to us, all we need to do is listen.  To say I have great children is an understatement.  They amaze me every day.  When I say "Whoa, take a step back and rethink this before you move forward."  They do, as upset as the reminder may make them to start with. I have raised them to be the movers and shakers our world needs.

It takes a strong mind to question everything - and ignorance truly is bliss.  My hope is that everyone who reads this, agreeing with me or not, will look a little deeper within and find what's truly real and what is an illusion. Asleep or awake; Reality or dream... where are you?

Disclaimer: I am only a truth-seeker NOT one who claims to know it all or wants everyone to be like me or agree with me.  Find your own truth.  Find yourself.  Be happy.  Break through the illusions in your life and be real.  Open eyes bring with them an open heart and true peace.  That's all I want for everyone.