Summer Ending Just Means Some New Beginnings.

This morning I woke up earlier than usual and ventured into each of my boys' room to make sure they were rising with the sun too.  Today was the first day of school.  Summer is over.  I know people say it all the time, but it's still crazy - Time passes far to quickly. 

Christopher starts 7th grade this year... SEVENTH.  I took him to get his haircut today and it was like a transformation.  I went in there with my first baby, my precious son-shine, and although he's still the same, when all was said and done out walked a handsome teenager.

I remember when he was in kindergarten.  I remember the very moment I realized that as small as he was, and as much as he still needed me, my baby now had a life of his own and that I didn't necessarily (and never would again) know everyone that he knows.  He was 5 years old and we were at the YMCA swim lessons.  He looked at me and said "Mom, I want to go say 'hi' to him." and he pointed at this life guard.  At first I looked at him, baffled, and asked him why.  He told me he was a teacher's helper and had played in class with him earlier.  I gave my son a smile and an okay.  He went right over and had a little conversation with this lifeguard, who remembered him and made him feel so special.  I don't remember the guy's name, but I'll always remember how special he made my boy feel and that very moment my boy had a life outside of mom. 

That first realization as a mother is always the hardest.  I wanted to cry and smile at the same time.  So proud of my little man, but so sad that as each day passed my little man was becoming a bigger man.  It goes by so quickly.  And so it goes with each of my sons.

Jadan is going into 6th grade.  As the middle child, he's in a "been there, done that" place.  It's not as hard to let him go, but I'm just as proud of all he is becoming.  He has a special gift.  No matter how bad your day is, no matter what goes wrong, this little boy can make you smile.  Between that and 'empathy' being his middle name - he is such an amazing genuine guy.

Last year Jadan had his first "crush".   As a 10 year old I fully expected my boys to get crushes soon... but maybe not like this and maybe not as soon.  Jadan would come home from school and daydream about her.  He would tell me stories about funny things she said or did.  He made me scared to think of what high school and real girlfriends would bring - but that's just my Jadan.  He becomes fully devoted and genuinely concerned about anything he cares about.  He admitted to me earlier today that this girl still crosses his mind and he doesn't know if he'll ever like anyone else, but thankfully (for this mama anyways) said girl has moved away.  Hopefully my sweet boy will get a little more mature before next crush comes along.  Only time will tell - his heart is beautiful.

Ethan, my littlest love, is going to 3rd grade this year.  He had a hard time this morning.  Not in a "I'm not going!" kind of way, but in a "tummy-hurts-I'm-so-nervous" way.  He is my fire-cracker.  High emotions, yet no fear.  Dennis the Menace with dark hair.  His day was fun as I expected.  He bounced off the bus and into my arms the same way he always has.  He has some old friends in his classroom and he made some new ones.  He loves his teacher.  Just what a mom wants to hear.  I'm happy for him.  He is my sweet baby baby boy. 

Sending your baby is as hard, if not worse, than sending your firstborn.  When the baby goes it's over.  It's not so much you're not needed anymore, as it's you're not wanted quite so much.   Not that I think my boys will ever not want me, but they are coming into their own independence.  Their own thoughts, their own struggles, their own joys.  I can't always be a part of that and I have to accept it and be steadfast and always there when it's important to be.  They can always count on me and they know it.

As the new school year starts I look forward to seeing how my mini men grow and change and learn.  I am so proud of all they are becoming.  I already see how amazing they are and know as they take these steps without me, others will see it too because that is who they are, not just what I'm raising them to be.