Dear Husband

When I packed your bag to kick you out this weekend and then allowed you to stay I thought we had come to a sort of mutual agreement.  I told you the bare minimal requirement I needed from you was to be reassured that you loved me and were thinking about me on a regular basis.  I can give you some space and keep from obsessing over our relationship if you can give me this.  All I was asking for was a few texts throughout the day or a phone call.  Something.  This is not new and you know it.  The very next day you leave for work and forget me.  Maybe not in the "I don't have a wife" kind of way but definitely in the "her feelings don't matter" way.  This is not okay.  Not even being able to comprehend how important the bare minimal is, makes me feel like I -"Us"- isn't as important as it should be to you.

When someone loves you unconditionally and is willing to (literally) be in pain to help you through something, you don't take advantage of them.  Yet, you take advantage again and again.  My heart is breaking.  I'm being suffocated.  Yet, here you stand, to inconvenienced to even do the bare minimal.

You could make this easier by just speaking the truth.  Telling me your true feelings, even if they hurt is the only way we will be able to work through this.  Your "I don't knows" and lack of reasons are ruining us.  Your inability to give me time and attention is ruining us.

How much space could you actually need anyways?  Most men don't work a 12-15hr day and then demand weekends completely for themselves.  You already are away more than you are with me or your children on any given week.  I am not a single mom.  This is not okay.

If you want me to wait around any longer you need to do a few things, (with 100% effort), without them, I have had enough.  I can not do this to myself or our children anymore.

1. Whether you think it's stupid or not, I do need to hear from you a few times a day.  It is not fair for you to think you can just disappear for 12-15hrs every day and have no connection to home. 
2. You need to choose me.  Choosing me does not mean you sit at home and do nothing.  It means you choose to have fun with me, regardless of where we are or what we're doing.  Your attitude on this has been making me have a bad attitude - I understand that, but if you don't start trying we are through.
3. You have responsibilities to not only me, but our children - you need to start taking those seriously.  You made a commitment to me, one God and most humans agree is pretty sacred.  I need to know you're still committed - if not, it's time to stop playing games with me.
4. We won't ever work if you can not be "real" with me.  If you are a different person when you're not around me that is a problem.  I can not be with someone who can't share all of himself.  Unfortunately, I think you are more judgmental of yourself than I could ever be.  You have created in your head how you think I would react to whatever "secret self" you have, and that just makes me feel like you don't know me at all.

I hope you can understand where I am coming from and know how much I truly love you.  You ARE my favorite and I think you'd be surprised at how well I really do know you.  Or maybe not, would I even be here if I didn't know the deeper you?  You need to believe in me... in us... We won't be a "We" with only one of us fighting for that. 

I love you for longer than always, to infinity and beyond,
~Me.